Keeping OUR secret

I've engaged groups and spoken publicly about the experience I lived being the teenage victim of a sexual predator.  During my presentation, I share insights into what it's like to be a young male victim, the journey between then and now and the many lessons I've learned about life as a man who carried a deep dark secret for years.  

The audience members say they leave feeling changed.  The raw presentation illustrates the reality many victims face in their lives.  I provide an understanding of what happens when a person is victimized in this way, the profound effect it has on the victim and those close to him or her.  

If you believe you or your organization would benefit from learning about this subject, please contact using the form on the bottom if this page me so we can discuss.

"At no time did I feel I was listening to a whine of self-pity, your confident appearance, touches of humour and the tempered way in which you referred to Bob Clarke gave every indication that this story, though deeply and profoundly hurtful had in fact been "sorted through”. The gift you gave your audience was the privilege of hearing your searing experience which had taken a terrible toll but which many years later you were able to recollect in tranquility (to borrow from the poet Wordsworth) so that we the listeners could leave, not worked over by raw unhealed emotion, but free to make our own assessments of what we had heard." TP

"Your brilliant performance (I use the term here not as an "act" given by a skilled actor acting from another's script but as a personal witness of a traumatic personal experience) was quite frankly one of the most riveting I have ever seen. All the essential ingredients were there - great vocabulary, articulation, body language, pauses (often overlooked as a dramatic device by the unskilled), facial expression, humour." EP

"I am not sure that I had truly thought about how much speaking out publicly would have such a momentous impact on the lives of individuals and the overall community! I felt grateful to have been there, to have been witness to your experience and to the activism that is has inspired." RF  

Sexual assault is any kind of unwanted sexual contact.  There are many forms of sexual violence, unwanted fondling, kissing, rubbing.  Sexual violence can involve no physical contact at all such as being exposed to images of a disturbing nature or having a person expose his or herself to you. 

You do know victims, (you may be one). You may not know who they are.  Statistically 1 in 6 men will be the victim of sexual assault, twice that for women.  We don't know because of the shame attached to being a victim, many people suffer for years in silence.  This needs to change....now!

No, they're not.  People who commit these crimes tend to be brilliant manipulators.  They not only groom their victims into trusting them, they groom the adults around them as well.  They are fathers, and mothers, aunts and uncles, teachers, coaches, community and faith leaders.

Since 2019, I have worked with students in the Women and Gender Studies Program.  I spend time with all of the students in groups of four or five people as we explore sexual assault.  We break it down and dissect the complicated layers  it has.  Topics include: how to define sexual assault; the lasting effects it has on victims; society's views and beliefs; the institutionalization effect; what we can do to prevent it and; how can society take it out of the shadows.

In the fall of 2020 I was invited to talk with students from the Victimology Program at  Algonquin College.  My presentation was followed up with a question and answer session that allowed students to dig deeper into the experience of being a victim of childhood sexual assault.

I have been involved with the CCCP since the fall of 2019 as a content creator for their on-line training program program Commit to Kids.

The CCCP is a national organization dedicated to the personal safety of all children. The organization's goal is to reduce the sexual abuse and exploitation of children, assist in the location of missing children, and prevent child victimization through a number of programs, services, and resources for Canadian families, educators, child-serving organizations, law enforcement, and other parties.